Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Marriage Essentials - Do You Make The Grade?
It is amazing how many people will search for marriage requirements to see if they can legally get married or perhaps to see if they can have a Church wedding. Yes these same people may not give the same time and thought to whether the person they are marrying is the right one for them. It is so easy to get caught up in the romance of the occasion and to forget that while your wedding day is a big event, it is the start of something so much bigger.
Tying the knot is a commitment and should be treated as such. Many people give more thought to taking out a joint mortgage than to getting married. This could be due to the fact that divorce is relatively inexpensive, unless you have a complicated estate or are very wealthy, and it is also socially acceptable in most circles. The fact that celebrities marry and divorce at will certainly doesn't help.
Listen, marriage prerequisites should be considered. Learn about your future partner's past and their plans for the future. Be sure the two of you are on the same page. Do you both want children? Should there be a prenuptial agreement? Learn as much about each other as possible. No doubt, there will be surprises in the future but the more you know going into the marriage the less likely there will be a surprise that derails the marriage. Ask many questions!
The sad fact is... most people don't walk away from a failed marriage without receiving pain and scarring. It's difficult to see all your dreams of happiness with another person die. And it is worse when you remember that a significant number of people who divorce, regret it. They don't regret getting married, they regret getting divorced!
So what can you do to prevent landing in a similar situation? The first step is to be realistic in your expectations. While it is fantastic to have your husband or wife as your best friend, they cannot supply you with everything you need. You have to a happy individual in your own right or you will make both of you miserable.
You need to be independent even though you are part of a couple. You should show your partner love, respect and loyalty while still giving them and expecting them to give you the freedom to have a life of your own. Your partner should know that they can go out with their friends and have a good time without getting the third degree on their return. Your relationship will be much more successful if everyone involved has room to develop and breathe. And if you do have kids be careful to still make your relationship a priority as one day they will grow up and leave home and you don't want to be left with a stranger for company.
You need to do things as a couple and spend quality time together. Nurture your love and show appreciation for each other. Surprise your partner with a small romantic gesture every now and then and not just on the obvious occasions like their birthday, Valentines day or your wedding anniversary.
Save My Marriage Today is a book that will offer invaluable insights and advice in regards to marriage essentials. You will get ideas on how to prevent your marriage from joining the growing list of divorce statistics. It's crucial to concentrate on being sure that your marriage will stand the test of time.
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Nice post! To help couples go the distance read "A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage" (Boston Globe #1 pick) -- stop by @ www.ashortguidetoahappymarriage.com
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