Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Marriage Essentials - Do You Make The Grade?

marriage essentials
It is amazing how many people will search for marriage requirements to see if they can legally get married or perhaps to see if they can have a Church wedding. Yes these same people may not give the same time and thought to whether the person they are marrying is the right one for them. It is so easy to get caught up in the romance of the occasion and to forget that while your wedding day is a big event, it is the start of something so much bigger.

Tying the knot is a commitment and should be treated as such. Many people give more thought to taking out a joint mortgage than to getting married. This could be due to the fact that divorce is relatively inexpensive, unless you have a complicated estate or are very wealthy, and it is also socially acceptable in most circles. The fact that celebrities marry and divorce at will certainly doesn't help.

Listen, marriage prerequisites should be considered. Learn about your future partner's past and their plans for the future. Be sure the two of you are on the same page. Do you both want children? Should there be a prenuptial agreement? Learn as much about each other as possible. No doubt, there will be surprises in the future but the more you know going into the marriage the less likely there will be a surprise that derails the marriage. Ask many questions!

The sad fact is... most people don't walk away from a failed marriage without receiving pain and scarring. It's difficult to see all your dreams of happiness with another person die. And it is worse when you remember that a significant number of people who divorce, regret it. They don't regret getting married, they regret getting divorced!

So what can you do to prevent landing in a similar situation? The first step is to be realistic in your expectations. While it is fantastic to have your husband or wife as your best friend, they cannot supply you with everything you need. You have to a happy individual in your own right or you will make both of you miserable.

You need to be independent even though you are part of a couple. You should show your partner love, respect and loyalty while still giving them and expecting them to give you the freedom to have a life of your own. Your partner should know that they can go out with their friends and have a good time without getting the third degree on their return. Your relationship will be much more successful if everyone involved has room to develop and breathe. And if you do have kids be careful to still make your relationship a priority as one day they will grow up and leave home and you don't want to be left with a stranger for company.

You need to do things as a couple and spend quality time together. Nurture your love and show appreciation for each other. Surprise your partner with a small romantic gesture every now and then and not just on the obvious occasions like their birthday, Valentines day or your wedding anniversary.

Save My Marriage Today is a book that will offer invaluable insights and advice in regards to marriage essentials. You will get ideas on how to prevent your marriage from joining the growing list of divorce statistics. It's crucial to concentrate on being sure that your marriage will stand the test of time.

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Sunday, July 05, 2009

How Young Couples Stay Together

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There is a reason as to how some young couples get married and are able to stay together for a life time in love, despite the trials and tribulations they're sure to face through out the course of their marriage. While other young couples get married and within five years are facing divorce.

You see, often young couples get married with the idea that their “chemistry” or undying love for each other will keep them together forever. However, about 50% of marriages end in divorce these days, it’s obvious that it takes more than just chemistry to make their love undying. Therefore, it pays to know a few secrets before getting married.

Continue Dating

Over the years, people often drift apart or relationships and marriages become stale because couples fail to do new and special things together.

That's why going on new and refreshing dates through out the years of marriage is so important. In fact, there is something about “dating” that creates a sense of magic in a couples relationship that can make them feel as though they're still a young couple. Even when they've been together for several years.

While on a date, you also put more effort into your appearance, have more uninterrupted time to communicate on a deeper level and are naturally drawn closer together.

Stuck for ideas? Spend the day at the aquarium, zoo, museum, carnival, bookstore, beach or ballpark. You might even consider signing up for a chance to win a free Caribbean Cruise.

Delay is Often Better

It’s a well documented statistic that young couples who have dated for a year or longer before marriage have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period.

A year of dating gives time for many emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered.You may adore someone in the spring, but despise him or her in the winter.

Asking someone for his or her hand in marriage on the third date isn't romantic. It's gambling.

Always Express Your Love

Often times as a relationship matures partners tend to stop praising each other because they 'assume' their partner already knows what they're thinking.

When in reality, a day should never go by without you praising your partner. Compliment them on their cooking, reaffirm that they're the greatest person in the world or tell them they’re a wonderful role model. If you want to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance them first. When they're feeling loved, it is much easier to love in return. Expressing your love will lead to better love making.

Are you a super supporter of what your mate does and says? So do you cheer them on and praise them constantly? Or do they constantly hear boos or silence?



Take Time to Understand Your Partner

Young couples with the most problems are often the ones that say, "I just don't understand him/her."

So let me ask you: How knowledgeable are you about your mate's profession or the degree they are pursuing? Do you know anything about his or her family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation about her cross-stitch hobby or his interest in football? If you are a man, do you fully understand what women experience during PMS or menopause?

You don't need to be identical, but make an effort to learn about the things that interest your partner in life and you'll grow closer as a result.

Answer The Big Questions

Does your partner want kids? Do you both want careers? Do they have a history of spending their way into debt? Do they go to church?

In my opinion, the biggest reason almost half of marriages end in divorce is because young couples fail to ask each other the right questions before they get married.

I guess people think they'll be able to change their spouses after marriage and everything will be better. Wrong, if you fail to sit down and discuss finances, religion, sex, housing, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could end up with nothing but argument after argument for the rest of your days.

In the end, if you both have completely different views, desires and goals in life, there’s no guarantee that chemistry or "I love you’s" will help you stay together.

Young couples stay together by making it their utmost priority to understand each other inside & out before they take that walk down the aisle.

Helpful relationship resources for young couples who want to stay together.



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